Movie Review
Yesterday I watched Tolkien. I feel very emotional about it, like I need to write and I haven't felt that for a while. It was the group of friends he had at school, and how he lost them in the war. They had a fellowship and a quest to change the world through art. I remember thinking I could do that, when I first started writing. But these things do get interfered with by war, and life.
Sometimes I get an excited feeling in my stomach like maybe we did change something, We fought against hate, we turned to the light, we did something good. I hold these moments in my heart.
Most of the time I feel derealization. Sometimes it gets so bad I can barely see. Everything is fuzzy and the colors are blurred. Sounds are distorted. Im numb and frozen.
Was it all a dream? I used to read the Silmarillion.
Actually, I could never get through it. My mom has read it many times. She is the real genius with languages.
I did get inspired to read about the inklings, which Tolkein's group called themselves, and I started watching the Ring cycle by Wagner. I get teary, my fingers tingle, and I can see clearly.
My insignificance helps bring clarity. To see how unimportant I really am in this eternal struggle.
This has been a terrible movie review.
