I also love trees

 Movie Review

Yesterday I watched Tolkien. I feel very emotional about it, like I need to write and I haven't felt that for a while.  It was the group of friends he had at school, and how he lost them in the war.  They had a fellowship and a quest to change the world through art.  I remember thinking I could do that, when I first started writing.  But these things do get interfered with by war, and life.

Sometimes I get an excited feeling in my stomach like maybe we did change something, We fought against hate, we turned to the light, we did something good.  I hold these moments in my heart.

Most of the time I feel derealization.  Sometimes it gets so bad I can barely see. Everything is fuzzy and the colors are blurred.  Sounds are distorted.  Im numb and frozen.

Was it all a dream? I used to read the Silmarillion. 

Actually, I could never get through it.  My mom has read it many times.  She is the real genius with languages.  

I did get inspired to read about the inklings, which Tolkein's group called themselves, and I started watching the Ring cycle by Wagner.  I get teary, my fingers tingle, and I can see clearly.  

My insignificance helps bring clarity.  To see how unimportant I really am in this eternal struggle.   

This has been a terrible movie review.